Not getting anywhere… October 29, 2006
Posted by onmytangent in Writing.add a comment
I need to write. It’s so much easier said than done when all kinds of obstacles are thrown in your way. And, for a person like me, those hindrances (no matter how large or small) never fail to get me back to square one. …Or square minus 5. Whatever. I’ve been waiting for the inspiration and the “right moment” to just come to me, but that’ll never happen. Waiting never gets you anywhere, but for some reason I keep doing it.
“Cooters are better than hooters” October 29, 2006
Posted by onmytangent in Dumb People, Food/Cooking, Friends, Things That Are Ridiculous.1 comment so far
Other amusing slogans are: “Pet a Cooter…I did!,” “Save a fish, eat a cooter,” “I Love my Cooter,” “A wet cooter is a happy cooter,” “Got Cooter?” and “I got my cooter in Inverness, FL.”
I find it sadly entertaining that the citizens of Inverness get together over a festival celebrating the cooter. Of all things, a turtle. However, I can’t adequately say that the festival really honors a turtle because it is clear clear clear as glass that this “festival” (which is nothing more than a few vendors and a hula hooping & costume contest) is a huge joke. I truly hope no one takes this seriously. If someone were to honestly straight-faced tell me that they think the cooter is something to celebrate over (and mean the turtle, that is) they have something wrong with them (starting with the fact that they are living in Inverness). It’s bad enough that Citrus County got bad press over the Jessica Lynch thing, the parents who were torturing their kids, and those idiot highschoolers who sabatoged some float… We’re being portrayed as a bunch of low-class hicks who beat their kids and eat fried cooter on a stick. We have to make ourselves look even worse on purpose. Crikey, what a bunch of crap.
Denise and I had a good day today. Key Lime pie and iced coffee is the shit.
Writing because there’s nothing else to do. October 28, 2006
Posted by onmytangent in Random Thoughts.add a comment
“Waiting on your ride?”
“Yeah, I’m waiting on my spaceship.”
I got 10 minutes for the next month. Ten minutes to squeeze in a conversation that will be the basis for all relationship-related thoughts for the next four weeks. Yep. I should be grateful for that. I am. I’m just a wimp.
Bad food October 27, 2006
Posted by onmytangent in Dumb People, Food/Cooking.add a comment
When you order food at a restaurant and are not satisfied with it, what do you do?
For those that would rather not send it back (for risk of bodily fluids in food) and instead continue eating the food… let me give you some guidelines. You are allowed once and ONLY ONCE to bitch about your food. Please, for the love of God, do not continue complaining about how dry your turkey is that you suspect it was put into the toaster and then smothered in gravy and tastes like cardboard. Do not mumble about how you’ll just go right on ahead and eat your instant mashed potatoes, canned apples, and flavorless stuffing. If you insist on mumbling, please do not address the person that you are with with “how is your food?” And then do not proceed to continue mumbling with how it’s okay that you’ll pay $9 for instant potatoes and all the other crap on your plate. I ask only that you please have some courtesy for your date/family member(s)/friend(s) by not bitching about your food unless you are going to do something about it because you make your date/family/friend feel very guilty about eating their food while you are so clearly dissatisfied with yours. If you can’t enjoy your meal, please don’t be rude enough to make sure that no one else can savor theirs.
Thank you.
Accomplishment = Warm Fuzzies October 26, 2006
Posted by onmytangent in Dumb People, Food/Cooking, Lists, Myspace.add a comment
1) I woke up, drank coffee, smoked.
2) Did yoga for the first time. While it’s a bunch of stretching, it sure does give you a work out if you aren’t exactly “bendy.”
3) Thought about killing my mother.
4) Got my license renewed with Denise. A new picture was in order because I am not carting around that retarded photo for another 6 years. The DMV got us in and out in record time (like 15 minutes) (compared to about 15 years in that office). They should have thought twice about the “safe driver” remark at the bottom of the license. (Watch, I’ll probably get a nice little letter in the mail tomorrow revoking my driving privileges because of “unsafe driving practices” like “knee steering,” flicking off idiot drivers, yelling at old people who drive slow, and/or lighting my car on fire due to improper cigarette disposal). (Which, BY THE WAY, happened to me one… actually, I lit my jeans on fire).
5) Got candy corn for my mother as a peace offering.
6) Played online scrabble because I am that cool.
7) Uh… Denise reformatted and designed my MySpace to make it look pretty. (That doesn’t count, but I thought I’d add it in there).
8.) Denise is now over. (By the way, without the “.” the 8 turns into an 
).
9) I ate a grilled cheese earlier. My mom makes them the best. She knows it, too, and will brag about it.
Arg. October 26, 2006
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I just wrote a whole bunch of stuff on here and now it got erased because Internet Explorer is a nightmare.
Oh so sexy. October 25, 2006
Posted by onmytangent in Dancing, Friends, Random Thoughts.add a comment
By Christmas time, I will be able to perform a variety of sex-like dances. These include: wall dances, lap dances, pole dances, and etc. Or, that’s what the plan is anyway. I’m excited because I can’t really dance. And I figure, for stripperish dances, I don’t realy need fancy footwork and all.. I just need a lot of hips and boy, do I have those.
No weird dreams today.
I got my birthday present from Dan today. It was a watch. I was half expecting a calendar of close-up pics of his genitals.
Denise and I took a nice little afternoon amble in downtown Inverness today. I bought my sister a birthday present. Had a smoothie. Went into the old courthouse. Smelled lots of candles. Drank a Coke. Got reminded that when I get married someday I will need to borrow something.
Things get better. They always do. Those are my words of wisdom for the year.
OH yeah…. October 25, 2006
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Right, so even on about 4 hours of sleep and being awake for several hours listening to people chatchatchatchatchat about absolutely nothing people can still qualify as sleep deprived. I know people have it a lot worse, so I’m not really complaining. What I did want to mention however is that dreams get really damn weird when you aren’t on a normal sleep schedule (a big DUH! for most people because I’m stating the obvious. So shut up and sit down).
My dream was this:
I was in China again, only this time I was on a roller coaster through the mountains. I remember going into a bathroom where you didn’t have to sit on a toilet seat because the actual seat part of it was brought up higher so you did a semi-squat. There was a big pile of poop on one that, oddly enough, my dreamself used. (I didn’t use the poop, I used the toilet. But in dreamworld, I somehow thought that was okay… that’s sick). Anyway, so bathrooms and coasters… I was scared out of my wits on the mountain ride and I remember the incessant feeling the whole time that I was forgetting something but I couldn’t recall what it was. Then, I’m sitting at a table next to one of my middle school science teachers (Ms. Presti) who was very eager to leave after having supervised the catered lunch.
Yeah, that’s it. Worth the 10 minutes it took this page to download on dial-up. Ha.
Sit down and thank God for today. (Even if today sucks). October 24, 2006
Posted by onmytangent in Family, Hospitals/Doctors, Things That Are Ridiculous.1 comment so far
Oh, gloriousness of all gloriousness…es. My bright, shining, and b-e-a-YOU-tee-ful day started at the absolute most ungodly hour ever. Four in the morning. My mother had her nice little dose of radiation this morning (or rather, was scheduled for it. I use that term loosely because around that hospital, who the hell knows what time or day it is…). My mother insists that 4 is the perfect time to get up, sit around the house for about 20 minutes, and then get ready to leave at a quarter to 5 (for the hourish drive over there). So we get up and go.
Fast forward one and one-half hours: sitting in the “conference room” with one other couple (who I later recognize as the irritating couple from yesterday at the hospital). Not only does the tiny cute talkative lady (she looks like a little old lady in the movies, but more like a muppet than a person… think Labyrinth with less hag or The Dark Crystal. THOSE kind of muppet ladies) insist on conferring with my mother, she does so for another hour or so. All the while, about 8 other patients and their families start filtering for their radiation, too. (I’m trying to get a nap here… ). We had a nice little radiation fiesta while everyone was waiting.
With the “planet fitting” (nice little halo looking thing that goes around your entire head and also is screwed in your head), CT Scans, and radiation for a total of 9 people… my mother and I didn’t get out until about 330pm.
And, Dan left for training today. Won’t see him til December. (I just wrote “Decement” but I deleted that).
I should quit my crying, it’s only boot camp for goodness sake.
Something is wrong with my keyboard.
There were things actually worth mentioning, but I forget what they are.
I have to make a movement.
Things I like and don’t like. October 22, 2006
Posted by onmytangent in Random Thoughts, Writing.3 comments
There are two main reasons why I like taking showers (other than the reason that I get clean). 1) I like the way I smell. I love love love the smell of my cheap-o bodywash and shampoo. 2) I enjoy having just 20 minutes (on a good shower day) to be absolutely entirely ALONE.
Lately, having alone time is a concept oh-so foreign to me due to the fact that my mom won’t let me be. For once in my semi-adult life I have started writing again. It seems that whenever I pick up my journal and a pen I am bothered. I rarely even get to touch the pen to the paper before mom comes around the corner trying to talk to me about something I really could care less about. Actually, this morning I went outside to smoke and write and told her that I would help her with her paper when I come in. TWO MINUTES after I start writing, she comes outside to explain to me the process of writing the paper she needs written and to be sure to include whateverthehell and to do this and that and this and that. WHY?!? I simply cannot grasp how this stuff happens to me. God is testing me, I think. He’s making this difficult to see if I stick with it. Hmph. We’ll just see about that.
That was my rant of the day.
The end.
