let’s kill the world

The following questions relate to your activity on the open road and how courteous of a driver you are. Please understand: if you suddenly realize that you really do suck at driving, please don’t be offended–just make the appropriate adjustments to your driving habits.  Also, while I am certainly NOT an expert on driving (I am neither the safest nor the speediest), I do understand a bit in the way of “Driver Courtesy.”

Thank you. You may proceed…

1.  You are driving in the leftest lane at a speed of 72 MPH (with a standard highway speed limit of 70 MPH) and some dude is riding your ass.  The lane to your right is clear of traffic.  You:
A) Stay in your lane and continue your speed of TOO slow.
B) Speed up to an acceptable speed of 75+ MPH and go with the flow of traffic
C) Move the fuck over.

Answer:  C.  The leftest lane of a two-lane or three-lane highway is reserved for only the drivers who are going 10+ MPH over the suggested speed limit.  If you insist on staying at the given limit or going, God forbid, below the speed limit you should be in the rightest lane possible and let the people who know how to drive on the interstate do so.

2.  You are at a stop sign (or stuck behind some asshole driver who drives too slow) and are making a right turn (or merging into the next lane of traffic).  However, someone is coming at a speed you can’t approximate.  You:
A) Turn (or merge) anyway without waiting for the car to pass
B) Wait for the car to pass and then turn/merge/whatever

Answer:  This is a hit or miss.  IF you are going to enter the flow of traffic, please accelerate to an appropriate speed.  For example, if it is a 60 MPH zone and you plan on performing the turn/merge action, speed the shit up and at least go 55.  If you can’t manage to do so, please wait for the vehicle to pass.  It is terribly inconvenient and, not to mention, annoying when someone pulls out in front of you causing you to slam on your brakes because they are going to damn slow.

As I am tired from driving all day, that is all I have for now.  HOWEVER, I would like to mention the following things:

+A yield sign is triangular.  It is NOT an octagon.  Thus, when you see a yield sign do not stop.  Continue at a safe speed and merge into the flow of traffic.  Do not hold up the traffic BEHIND you.

+If there is an accident on the other side of a divided highway, it is appropriate to slow down a bit.  It is not appropriate, however, to stop completely and cause a 5 mile backup because of something that happened on THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD.  Quit your rubbernecking and drive.

+If traffic is congested and heavy and someone behind you is up your ass to the point where you can’t even see their headlights, please for the love of God, speed up.  Do not make it Survival of the Slowest between you and the trucker next to you. While you may enjoy taking your sweet time to get somewhere (like I do on occasions), not everyone likes to watch the grass grow.

Thank you.  That is all.

Expect more soon.