This is why I like books February 9, 2008
Posted by onmytangent in Books.add a comment
…Because I have some rare first editions that I bought for about $2.00 and are worth over $300.
Go me.
Adventures with the family February 9, 2008
Posted by onmytangent in Conversations, Family, Stupid Mental Lapses.1 comment so far
Between Mom and Gram:
“Someone brought in this picture of a man.. he looks familiar, but I don’t know…”
“The one on the..”
“Yeah..that one.”
“Mom, that’s Jesus.”
“Oh, is it? I thought he looked familiar…”
The service for my grandpa went well… very small and comprised of 1/2 family and 1/2 friends making the grand total about 8. That was fine with me because I’m not too keen on funeral hunters who want to be there just for show. Or to have a good cry over someone they don’t know. Or something. Afterward, we (the family and our friend, Phil) went to go get some lunch. While we’re eating, the table suddenly starts moving forward and away. Like the hungry tard I was my eyes and fork try and follow the moving plate. It didn’t quite register that a shifting table isn’t a normal occurrence. No one could figure out what was going on for a good few seconds until we realized that gram was hitting the joystick on her JazzyMobile and causing the wheels to move the table in all sorts of directions. It probably doesn’t sound as funny as it really was.
Speaking of gram and the things that she does (and says, based on the above conversation), some idiot told her about medical-grade marijuana and now she thinks it’s a good idea. I’m sure someone might be slipping her a joint on the side because this woman gets stranger and stranger… I don’t ever remember her being quite this funny before.
error in judgment… February 2, 2008
Posted by onmytangent in Animals/Pets, Making Decisions.add a comment
Lately I’ve been suffering the consequences of my actions and I can’t say that I’m very happy with the way things are turning out. The “Yay! I’m ready for Adulthood!” train I was on went for about two months before I got off at the “Oops! I was wrong!” station when I realized that…I was wrong. It’s not so much the paying bills thing or anything like that either. It’s the being responsible and accountable thing that really gets me. I’m floundering financially because I no longer have a secondary source of income and I haven’t been pushing myself hard enough to find another one. I’m losing my dog today because I can’t control him well enough like I should and I knew the whole time I needed to be firmer with discipline yet I didn’t follow through 100% like I should have. I wouldn’t have to worry about all this unnecessary shit if I planned better, executed said plan better and in full, and thought everything out before I started doing it. So the real test here is to see whether or not I can actually prevent this bullshit from happening again by actually doing things right. I’m not stupid; I know what I need to do. I just need initiative and mental stamina.
Feel great and lose weight! February 1, 2008
Posted by onmytangent in Things That Are Ridiculous.2 comments
The most inane thing I’ve seen all day: Cardioke. Brought to you by Billy Blanks Jr., Cardioke is a powerful and innovative way to sing karaoke while burning calories. Are you freaking kidding me.
You’d think I was a little less… awesome. But I’m not. January 30, 2008
Posted by onmytangent in Uncategorized.add a comment
I’m well aware that I have zero modesty when it comes to patting myself on the back or telling the world how awesome I am so I’m just gonna come out and say it: I can be really freaking funny sometimes. Instead of continuing work on my essay I decided to browse through my own blog and crack myself up. Oh, and I did. I think I am jealous of myself… (I’m also very aware that I’m probably the only one that thinks I’m funny and that’s just fine with me).
I lost the thunder January 30, 2008
Posted by onmytangent in College/School, Writing.1 comment so far
Since returning to school it’s become wildly apparent that I have lost that loving feelin’ when it comes to writing. I don’t even know how to tell my brain to type out a thesis for an essay let alone figure out what exactly an outline is (even though it’s been drilled into my head since I was 10). Brainstorming? Yeah, I’ve got a lot of that. Productive ways to implement said thunder and lightning? None. Not. A. One. I have a 3-5 page paper due tomorrow and I’m not really sure how I’m going to get past the same repetitive sentences despite the fact that I have a lot to say about my topic. I have been in the english program since I was born. So why is this so g.d. hard for me to do?
Driver Courtesy Lesson- Part Three January 29, 2008
Posted by onmytangent in Dumb People, Things That Are Ridiculous.1 comment so far
It’s been a while since I’ve brought up driving-related issues. This is mainly due to the fact that the issues are typically the same: people suck at driving, don’t use blinkers, etc, etc. and I would run the risk of sounding repetitive (which I typically do anyway, but whatever). However, since returning to school a whole new crop of parking issues have arisen and it pisses me off to no end. Queens is terrible at providing parking accommodations for their commuter and residential students, so much so that I have had to resort to buying a commuter parking pass. (I don’t typically feel the need to shell out $75 on a parking pass when I can park on the road… No longer is this the case). One would think that the giant parking deck would solve most of these problems. Not so. I’m certain that this piece of architecture only serves as an eyesore to anyone driving around that area of Charlotte and serves very little purpose as it seems no one freaking uses it. Having said that, I’d like to address the issue of parallel parking.
Now, parallel parking is a skill–understand that. It takes time and effort into becoming an ace at parking between cars. It took me quite a long time to perfect this and I will admit that I’m not a pro yet (only because my car has no power steering). But the rules are as follows:
1. Use your blinkers. It is imperative that you signal to others behind you that you are parking. As a driver I cannot stress enough how irritating (and dangerous) it is to nearly hit someone because they stop right in front of you and then proceed to attempt the parallel maneuver.
2. If you realize mid-park that your car is too big to fit in that small spot please understand that this happens to everyone. Shimmy yourself out of that spot and find a better one. You are not the only idiot who’s miscalculated the length of their car. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about (although I tend to get nervous when people are on the street because I don’t like being watched. The fear is something you must conquer).
3. Lastly, and most important, PULL UP AS FAR AS YOU CAN while still leaving space to get out. I cannot tell you how many times in the last week I have seen spaces almost available. Leaving a half a car length between you and the car in front of you is pretty much retarded. Not everyone has Mini Coopers or motorcycles to fit in those 3 feet spaces you leave. Move to the front of the line, people. It’s terribly inconvenient for other parallel-parking drivers and, furthermore, it’s a matter of courtesy. Don’t be rude. To branch on that, don’t pull up too far so that the person in front of you is so sandwiched in that they can’t get out. It’s a matter of visual judgment. If you can’t judge the distance, then park in an actual space that is already pre-designated.
On another note: who the hell looks up “farting and fitness” as a search term? To be honest, I’m terribly ashamed that one of my blog posts even came up as a result of that..
Why I should attend class January 27, 2008
Posted by onmytangent in Things That Are Ridiculous.add a comment
So last week I didn’t go to my film class for various reasons like parking and rain. The film for the week was Hallelujah, a 1929 black and white film about redemption and temptation. As I wasn’t there to watch it I was left no choice but to get it on my own time. Turns out, the only copy to ever survive is an old busted VHS. I thought both tapes and VCRs were basically fossilized but apparently not. As it happens, I own a VCR. I don’t know why, but it certainly came in handy especially when I found a little gem of ’80s porn titled Hot Chili Pepper in the VCR. Now, I don’t know how it got there or who used the player last, but I’ll be damned if that wasn’t an interesting surprise. Not only does the video have commercials for phone sex with manly women but it has awesomely bad dialogue and actors. You really can’t beat a crazy whore in a skintight leopard-print dress with L.A. Gear high top sneakers and teased hair. Well, I mean, you could but…
…nevermind.
Point is: finding bad porn on VHS is awesome.
Public opinion survey January 22, 2008
Posted by onmytangent in College/School.1 comment so far
How much fun is reading the entirety of Huckleberry Finn in one week?
Delusions of productivity January 21, 2008
Posted by onmytangent in Lists.add a comment
This afternoon the whole house and friends vacated the premises and went to Atlanta for a show and I have the whole house to myself. As resident zookeeper for the next day and a half I have both my dog, Pickle the cat, and Stella the girl dog (who, I’m afraid, kicks Jaegar’s ass in the intelligence department). About 6 hours ago I deemed today Jackie’s Productive Day in January. So I sat down with my coffee, pulled out my computer, and thought about the To Do List I would be writing in a few short moments. After I finished my coffee and cigarette. I thought and I thought and came up with this:
Things to Get Done:
-Call Dad for CC#
-Clean Kitchen
-Do Hw for Am. Lit.
-Webboard
-Clean living room
-Bathroom
-Laundry
-Clean my room
-Get CC App.
-Download program on comp.
-Apply for job/Check careerbuilder
-Download AIM
And, I’ll be honest here, I think that I’ve spent more time making a To Do List playlist on iTunes than I actually have doing anything on the list.
